The Curse of the Boring Meal
One evening I met a guy at a bar. I gave him my number and told him to call me and we could go out. (First mistake) He called me a few days later and said that he would like to take me out, I said ABSOLUTELY, thinking this would be fun. (Second mistake) We decided on dinner and I let him pick the restaurant. (Third Mistake) I arrive at the designated place at the designated time and I am convinced I will have a good time. But as I am looking at the menu and trying to listen to him tell me about - - well about him, his voice has the hum of an air conditioner and is quickly putting me to sleep. There is nothing exciting about his tone, there is absolutely no substance to what he is saying. I quickly pick just anything off of the menu in an attempt to move this date along before I am snoring openly at the table. (Fourth Mistake)
I try to ask him questions and drag anything out of him. NOTHING!!! The food comes and I realize that I picked chicken that came with rice and broccoli and that the chicken was dry and bland. The rice was lifeless and well the broccoli kinda looked bored too. The conversation had devolved into the status of watching paint dry. He asked if I would like dessert. I, as politely as possible, said no thank you. He got the check and we walked out of the restaurant.
He walked me to the car and leaned in for a kiss. After the dry chicken, the lifeless rice and the bored broccoli, I was hoping that something could spark my taste buds so I gave it a shot. (Fifth Mistake) Now I don't know if anyone has ever actually kissed a dead fish but I have decided that the experience was similar not only was this man a horrible kisser, a boring human being, he had atrocious taste in restaurants. What was I thinking?
What did I learn from this experience, never give your number to a guy you meet in a bar if you should make that mistake, never say yes when he calls. If you should make that mistake never let the guy pick the restaurant get suggestions but don't let him pick without some form of input. If you should make that mistake carefully choose from the menu selections and make sure to have some form of sauce at the table, ketchup, mustard anything would be helpful. If you should make that mistake let bygones be bygones and never allow that kiss at the car. Lifeless food can be salvaged, lifeless people are a downer.
From: Posterous <post@posterous.com>
To: rebeccaswelch@yahoo.com
Sent: Mon, July 12, 2010 9:22:57 AM
Subject: Posterous | Re: Classic First Date
